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3 sardar picnic par gae wahan ja kar yad aya k pepsi to ghar bhol gaye Decide kia ki sab se chota sardar ja kar pepsi le aaye Chota sardar:Main is shart par jata hun k tum mere ane tak samose nahi khao ge Dono ne kaha thik hai 1 din guzar gaya sardar ni aya 2 din guzr gaye 2no ne socha k ab samose kha lne chahye Jaise hi samosa uthaya chota sardar ped k peche se nikal k bola.... Aisa karo ge to main nahi jauga.
Santa and Doctor
Santa Apni Problem Leke Doctor Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola: Doctor Sahab, Jab Bhi Main Seedha Khada Rah Kar... Halka Sa Jhuk Kar Apni Left Leg Ghutne Se Modkar Seedha Karta Hoon... Phir Right Leg Ko Ghutne Se Modkar Seedha Karta Hoon Tab Kamar Mein Dard Hota Hai. Doctor, Hairani Se: Abe Agar Aisa Karne Se Dard Hota Hai Toh Tu Aisa Drama Karta Hi Kyun Hai? Santa, Badi Hi Masoomiyat Se: Toh Kya Main Ab Underwear Bhi Na Pahnu?
Technological Innocence !
A girl posted a question in a WhatsApp group: "Guys, if I install Windows-7 of 32 bit two times then will it become 64 bit?" Another Girl in the group replied: "Yes....but it will also become Windows-14." ALL boys left group :P :P
Apple and Microsoft Notice Jokes
Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store in NY :- Don't ever fart here; the smell will stay for ages. We don't have Windows.�� --------------------------------------------- And tit for tat from Microsoft in their premises.. "Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple."���� We have been providing open window system to the world since ages. ����
Ek aadmi ne 98.3 FM Radio pe phone kiya
Ek aadmi ne 98.3 FM Radio pe phone kiya Man : Mujhe S.V. Road pe ek Purse mila hai jisme 15000 cash, ek iphone 6+, ek Credit Card aur kisi Pallavi Mishra ke naam ka ID mila hai. Radio Jockey : Wah... Aap kitne imaandaar hain... toh aap unhe wo purse waapis karna chahenge, Right ?? Man : Nahi!!......Main chahta hu ki Pallavi Mishra ke liye ek Dard bhara SONG ho jaaye
Husband and Wife went to Jerusalem
Husband and wife went to Jerusalem and the Wife died there. Priest: "Sending her body home would cost you $10000.... but... burial here at this holy city would cost just $100". Man:"I'll take the body home!!!" Priest:"Why the costly option? You must really love your wife a lot" Man: "Nothing like that Father.. Just that Jesus was buried here and came alive on the 3rd day... I CAN'T TAKE THAT RISK" !!!
Dedicated to all Managers !!
A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said. "But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree". "Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also." The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the manager answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was. One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you...
A Suspicious Wife
Wife: Where are you? Husband : At home love. Wife: Are you sure? Husband: Yes. Wife : Turn on the mixer. Husband : (turns mixer on) Rrrreeereeeereeee... Wife: Ok my love goodbye. Another day...... Suspicious Wife: Where are you? Husband : At home love. Wife: Are you sure? Husband : Yes. Wife: Turn on the mixer. Husband: (turns mixer on) Rrreeereeeereeee... Wife: Ok my love goodbye. The next day, the wife decides to go home without notice, and finds her son alone and she asks him, "Son, where is your father?" Son: "I don't know, he went out with the mixer..:):):):)
Technological Innocence !
A girl posted a question in a WhatsApp group: "Guys, if I install Windows-7 of 32 bit two times then will it become 64 bit?" Another Girl in the group replied: "Yes....but it will also become Windows-14." ALL boys left group :P :P
Husband calls Hotel Manager from room
Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from room) Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife & she says she will jump from your hotel window. Manager : Sir, I am sorry, but this is your personal Issue. Husband : Abbe saale ! The window is not opening. This is a maintenance issue ..
Rajnikant's Facts
Fresh stock of Rajni jokes ! ------------------------------------ Reporter to Rajnikant: how many jokes have been made on you till now? Rajni: only 1 or 2. Reporter: only 1 or 2? Rajni: enna RASCALA! Rest all are facts! ------------------------------------- Rajnikanth's dog's house has a signboard on it, saying.. Maalik Se Sawdhan! ---------------------------------- Once Rajnikant Decided To Race With Time.. & The Result Is Time Is Still Running ---------------------------------- Rajnikant participated in 1000 KM race and obviously he came first But EINSTEIN died after watching that Coz ... LIGHT came second... -------------------------------- When Rajnikant was a student! You can't guess this one... Teachers used to bunk! ---------------------------------------- While playing once Rajnikant said "statue" to a girl... Now that Statue is know as "Statue of Liberty" ------------------------------------------- Rajinikant...
3 Drunk Guys entered a Taxi :)
3 drunk guys entered a taxi... The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. He told them.... "We have reached". The 1st guy gave him money & The 2nd guy said "thank you". The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap. The driver was shocked, thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. he asked "whats that for?". The 3rd guy replied: "Next time drive slowly" :):):)
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.." The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back.." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly. The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful p...
Importance of Employee in a Company
This is a masterpiece.. Boss: So tell me young man, on what all occasions have you realised that you have importance in Company and company cannot function without you??? Employee : "Sir, whenever I asked for a leave".....
Appraisal Interview of Gayle
Appraisal interview of Gayle: Gayle:- Sir, I scored 211 Runs in 118 Balls. I made the team win the crucial match. I should get "A" rating. Manager:- You hit 17 Sixes and 23 Fours. Though, that is good but that is not something new you have done. That is why we hired you. As this is not something new, I will mark it as "Innovation Lacking". Gayle:- But sir, I played according to the situation. I took 21 singles as well. Manager:- Exactly, your performance is not consistent. You played 15 Dot Balls as well. This means, you failed to optimize the resources. Gayle:- But… Manager:- Also, I would like to mention that you are not a team player. The whole team scored 112 and you all alone made 211. Gayle:- What?? Manager:- Yes. So, overall, you are getting a "C" rating for the year. Improve Consistency, Innovation, Utilization and Team Work.
Express Train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one!! :)
Poor Husband Jokes in Hindi
जज: क्या सबूत है कि जब एक्सीडेंट हुआ, तब तुम कार तेज़ नहीं चला रहे थे? कार चालक: साहब, मैं अपनी पत्नी को लेने ससुराल जा रहा था जज: ओह्हो, छोड़ दो इस मासूम को, ऐसे समय कोई भी गाड़ी तेज़ नहीं चला सकता . :)
Biwi Par mast hindi chutkula
एक आदमी डॉ. के पास चेकअप कराने गया डॉ. ने कहा: आपको आराम की सख्त जरुरत है नींद की गोली दे रहा हूँ बीबी को खिला देना!! ?
Helmet pehenna anivarya hai – Pati Patni Joke
सरकार ने फरमान जारी किया चालक, पुरूष हो या स्त्री दुपहिया वाहन चालक को हेलमेट पहनना अनिवार्य यह खबर सुनकर पत्नी ने वार्डरोब खोला और बोली : हे भगवान ! अब इतने सारे मैचिंग हेलमेट खरीदने पड़ेंगे ! पति ने एक्टीवा बेच दी । :)
Pati aur Patni ki zabardast talk
पत्नी: हैलो! कहाँ हो? पति: मोटीवेट कर रहा हूँ। पत्नी: किसे? पति: किसे क्या मतलब? तेरा वेट कर रहा हूँ एक घंटे से ….. मोटी!
NEW GENERATION.....LOL
Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo. Men 1952: I just fixed the roof. Men 2016: I just shaved my legs.
Riddle
Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out? A. He sang until he found the right key!