Whatsapp jokes

Husband and wife mein jhagda ho raha tha Biwi: Kaash main apni maa ki baat maan leti aur tum se shaadi na karti  Pati: Kya matlab tumhari maa ne tumhe mujh se shaadi karne ke liye mana kiya tha ?  Biwi: Aur nahi toh kya Pati: Hey Bhagwaan main aaj tak us nek aurat ko kitna bura samjhta raha jisne mujhe bachana chaha

 Santa se interview mein pucha gaya: Agar 2 minute ke liye aapko PM bana diya jaye toh aap kya karenge ?? Santa: Hum Maggi noodles banayenge Intrviwer: Why ?? Santa: 2 Minute mein toh sirf Maggi ban sakta hai Intrvwer: Agar 5 saal ke liye bana diya jaye ?? Santa: Hum 5 saal ke liye PM nahi banenge Intrvwer: Why ?? Santa: Itni Maggi kaun khayega ??

 Ladka Handsome hona chahiye Smart to Phone bhi hote hain  Phone to iPhone hona chahiye S1 S2 S3 to Train ke Dibbe bhi hote  hain Insaan ka dil Bada hona chahiye Chhota to Bheem bhi hai  Aadmi ko Samjhdar hona chahiye Sensitive to Toothpaste bhi hota hai  Teacher jyada Number dene wala hona chahiye Andaa to Murgi bhi deti hai  Yuva Rashtrawadi Hone chahiye Cool to Navratna Oil bhi hai  Rashtrapati Kalaam Hona Chahiye Mukherjee to Rani bhi hai v  Bathroom mein Hair Dryer Hona chahiye Towel to Sreesanth ke paas bhi hai  Ladki mein Akal honi chahiye Surat to Gujrat mein bhi hai  Mobile General mode par hona chahiye Silent to Manmohan Singh bhi hain  Seb meetha hona chahiye Lal to Advani bhi hain  Ladka Dravid jaisa hone chahiye Rahul to Gandhi bhi hai  Ghumna to Hill Station par chahiye Goa to Pan masala bhi hai  Reply dhang ka hona chahiye Hmmmmmmm to bhains bhi kar leti hai

Teacher: Kaun si chidiya sabse fast urti hai ?? Student: Mam Haathi Teacher: Nalayak Tera baap kya karta hai ?? Student: Ji woh Al Qaida mein aatankwadi ka kaam karte hai Teacher: Shabash beta Likho bacchon answer likho HAATHI

 Santa: Doctor ke paas gaya aur bola ghar jaane ki kitne fees lete hain aap?? Doctor: 300 rupees Santa: Theek hai doctor ji chaliye phir Doctor ne apna bag liya bike nikali aur Santa ko le kar Santa ke ghar pahunch gaye Doctor bola: Mareez kahan hai ?? Santa: Yahan koi mareez nahi hai doctor ji darasal baat yeh hai ki taxi wala 500 maang raha tha aur aapne 300 mein le aaye

 Ek teacher kaha ki AGAR MAI BILL GATES HOTA par essay likho Saare students likhne lag gaye Teacher ne dekha ki sab likh rahe hain but apna Pappu sirf smile kar raha tha yahan vahan dekh rajah tha lekin likh nahin raha tha Teacher: Pappu tum kyu nai likh rahey? Pappu: Madam ji main apni seceretry ka intzaar kar raha hun This is attitude

A boy on a date in a BMW CAR Boy Maine tumse ek baat chupai hai Girl Kya? Boy I m already married Girl Tumne toh dara diya tha maim samjhi ki yeh red colour ki BMW tumhari nahin hai

 Husband: Dubai ja raha hun Wife: Mere liye jewellery lana Husband: Paris ja raha hun Wife: Mere liye cosmetics lana Husband: London ja raha hun Wife: Perfumes leke aana Husband: Narak mein ja raha hun Wife: Bhagwan ka diya sub kuch hai bas tum apna khyal rakhna

 Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date par bulaya wo late aayi Girl: Am I late ? Ghalib: Arz hai Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai Dusri ka time ho gaya hai tu ab aa rahi hai

A kanjoos boy fell in LOVE with a kanjoos Girl Girl: Jab Dad so jayenge to main gali mein ek SIKKA phenk dungi tum turrant andar aa jana Lekin ladka sikka phenne ke ek ghante baad aaya aur kuch pareshaan bhi tha Girl: Itni der kyo laga di? Boy: Wo main sikka DHOOND raha tha Girl: Pagal wo tho DHAAGA BAANDH ke phenka tha tabhi waapas kheench liya tha

 Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge? Student: Facebooking Karunga Teacher: Nahi mera matlab hai kya banoge? Student: Facebook pages ka Admin banunga Teacher: Ohoo I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge? Student: Facebook Admin Rights Teacher: IDIOT Mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa ke liye kya karoge? Student: Facebook par Page bnaunga I MOM DAD Teacher: Stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain ? Student: Mere Facebook ka Pasword Teacher: Oh God tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai? Student: Facebook but never Face your Book

 A girl come in class wearing new sandals A boy comments: Chappal achhi hai Girl gusse mein: Nikalun kya? Then all the boys: Tumhaari dress toh aur bhi achchi hai

 Ek ladka shaadi ke liye ek ladki ko dekhne gaya Ladke ne socha ki kyun na ladki ko impress kiya jaaye aur English mein baat karne ki sochi Ladka bola: Suniye aapko English chalti hai na? Ladki sharmate hue dheere se boli: Ji bilkul chalti hai Agar SODA ho saath mein ho tab toh DESI bhi chalti hai