RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local Wal-Mart Dear Mrs. Harris: Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's
Appraisal interview of Gayle: Gayle:- Sir, I scored 211 Runs in 118 Balls. I made the team win the crucial match. I should get "A" rating. Manager:- You hit 17 Sixes and 23 Fours. Though, that is good but that is not something new you have done. That is why we hired you. As this is not something new, I will mark it as "Innovation Lacking". Gayle:- But sir, I played according to the situation. I took 21 singles as well. Manager:- Exactly, your performance is not consistent. You played 15 Dot Balls as well. This means, you failed to optimize the resources. Gayle:- But… Manager:- Also, I would like to mention that you are not a team player. The whole team scored 112 and you all alone made 211. Gayle:- What?? Manager:- Yes. So, overall, you are getting a "C" rating for the year. Improve Consistency, Innovation, Utilization and Team Work.
��Some global opinions on marriages.. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Al Gore ���� By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates ���� Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Mike Tyson ���� I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs ��with me. - Bill Clinton ���� "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - George W. Bush �� "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Rudy Giuliani �� "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - Michael Jordan ���� Two secrets to keep your